Match the photo to the name

Alright, I've collected photos for 5 guys that I've dated and now its up to you all to guess which photo belongs to what name. The only help I'm going to give you is list the names in reverse order as to who I've dated recently

1 Joshua
2 Derrek
3 Erwin
4 Mr Local
5 Walter

And now for the photos. Remember this is a limited time post as I'm not sure these guys want their pictures on my blog, even though they don't know it exists.




































































Alright, there you go. I tried to label the pictures with letters, but its not turning out pretty so just assume they're labeled starting with 'A'. They're in no particular order and I have no idea why there is such a big space between the fourth and fifth pictures.

Awesome Lunch Date!!

I had an awesome lunch date with Joshua! We sat and talked for several hours. But right now I've got to go feed the pony. I'll post more later tonight!

Alright, and here's the rest of the story...

I showed up maybe a couple minutes before one and I hadn't had much breakfast 6 hours earlier. So I decided to order. Its one of those locally owned coffee shops that you order at the counter and take a number back to your seat. I finished ordering and notice a very tall man behind me. In his picture Joshua has facial hair. He has apparently shaved it off. He looks much better without it. We do the awkward 'are you' with the questioning look. You know the one people do when they're meeting someone they've never met and they think this is the right person, but they're not sure. It turns out we were right. I helped him find a menu, since the place had taken down the menu on the wall. I went to sit down while he ordered since I was shaky from low blood sugar.

He, of course, came over and sat down with me. (It was a lovely sunny day as well. I chose the seat in the window). We did the chit chat thing. We covered a wide range of topics that included, politics, exs, school, American school procedure vs Japanese school procedure (he taught english as a second language for 4 months) and pottery. We talked a lot about pottery. I finally got my wheel fixed for Christmas and I'm in the process of setting up a little studio area in the corner of my basement. He almost majored in art with a concentration in ceramics.

I found out that he likes to watch UFC, so I told him we should watch the next bout together (two Saturdays from now). He agreed so I'm happy about having a UFC buddy at the very least. I hate going by myself because I love talking about the fight while its happening. He was surprised when I said I followed the fights. I can't figure out why people are always surprised at that one...

We called it quits after about 3 hours when I needed to head home to let the dog out. He sort of walked me to my car (I'd parked on the opposite side of a one way street, possibly on purpose...) and we stood across from it doing the goodbye thing. He seemed a bit awkward and I brought up about seeing him again and telling him to call me. He said he would and that we would at the very least get together for the fights on the sixth. We shook hands, a little awkward and said goodbye.

On my way home he called me and apologized for the awkwardness of the goodbye. (He looked really awkward and I was just kind of watching him, so not really awkward for me). He said he wasn't sure how things like that were supposed to end and had wanted to give me a hug, but was unsure of what my boundaries were. I told him that I was very good with the word 'No' and making it known when I'm uncomfortable with something.

I got home and talked with my roommate, who wants to meet him. And I did a little online snooping. He's on Facebook and, as it turns out, we have a friend in common. I had to call him and figure out how he knows her. A girl I went to school with he knows through an old ex. Talk about convoluted connections. While I had him on the phone I asked if he wanted to come over Saturday since I'd have my pottery stuff set and I could make dinner for the three of us (since the roommate wants to meet him). He said yes, so at the very least, now, I'll see him Saturday.

(For Garret, it seems he broke up with his ex of a disagreement on her parenting style and lifestyle choices. She has a 3 yr old (not his) that she lets play video games for 5+ hours at a time and stay up until 1 am. Apparently that and other unstated unhealthy lifestyle choices made them an unfit match.)

Alright, back to the old grindstone.

I decided to get off my bum and try to meet people. I reactivated one of my dating site profiles, just to browse around and see if there was anyone new. Much to my surprise, there were a couple interesting fellows.

One gentleman wrote me a very long email yesterday. We'll call him Joshua. Joshua is only about 20 minutes away from where I live. He's also a foot taller than I am and a middle child. He likes art and is in school for languages. He speaks Spanish and Japanese. He uses punctuation and grammar and spelling.

Hello!

I thoroughly enjoyed reading through your profile and consequently felt compelled to say hello. You seem to be an "intensely" passionate and driven individual. And I greatly admire your willingness to get your hands dirty. Most young women aren't so willing.

Speaking of getting hands dirty, you're also a potter! I admit, that was probably the most exciting phrase in your profile for me, as I was originally an art major with a focus in Ceramics before switching to Comparative Languages and Linguistics. And, believe it or not, my dream is quite similar to yours!

In my ideal future, I have a pottery studio in which I satisfy my creative passion and a martial arts studio in which I am afforded the opportunity to learn and teach self-discipline, honesty, integrity, humility and, of course, assertiveness. I'm not sure which would be the primary income; I suppose that's up to the location, demand, and the state of the economy. I will say though, that the Lima area has very little competition in both markets. So, assuming I stay in the area, we will see what happens.

A horse farm sounds like it could be a lot of fun too! They are such beautiful creatures. I imagine it's an incredible amount of work maintaining such a place, but I bet it's more than worth the effort.

Also, I LOOOOVE that you dance. I don't know many, other than the basic steps of salsa, traditional Japanese and the bit of swing I've done through my involvement in theatrical productions. But, I have great coordination, learn very quickly, and am more than willing to explore the outer reaches of human movement. At school, two of my favorite classes were Dance Choreography and Modern Dance. A lot of hard work, but sooooo much fun!

Anyway, I should probably stop writing for now. I have to be up early tomorrow morning. Well, I hope you've had a wonderful weekend full of warmth despite the cold weather and that you have an inspiring day tomorrow!! Take care!!

-Joshua

He sent me an IM through the site as I was reading that email. It was late and the conversation didn't last too long. He apparently broke up with his girlfriend right before Christmas. He says it was a mutual decision because they "realized that our lifestyles were just too different" and "We were just mature enough to recognize that we weren't healthy for one another". The part that potentially concerns me is : "We're still great friends". Especially with dealing with Erwin (who, by the way, I told I didn't want to talk to him again until he made himself less confusing. I haven't heard anything from him since) I am wary of men who are still in contact with recent exs. I think that it is possible to stay friends, but only after a period of time has passed with no contact for both parties to settle their feelings.

Anyhow, I'm tired of the whole get to know you game over the internet. I'm to the point where I'd just rather meet for a cup of tea and talk like normal people. So I gave him my number and told him I'd like to continue the conversation over hot drinks.

He called today and we talked for a good hour. And ended up setting a lunch date for tomorrow at one.

I'll keep you all posted as to how it goes. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I need a bit of good luck.

Friday night Fight Club

Another Friday has come and is on its way to going. I decided it was a pizza, movie and rum and coke night. The movie was supposed to be Tim Burton's '9', but the rental disk doesn't work, so its 'Fight Club'. This is part of the reason why I don't understand why guys don't seem to like me. I'm not watching a Romantic Comedy, I'm not drinking some frou-frou drink, I don't need to go out to some fancy restaurant.

I get the need for pain right now. Life is not going my way. Within the last week my car window broke. In Ohio. In below freezing temperatures. It did get fixed recently, so at least thats better. But then there's the Dirty Hairy saga. Dirty Hairy is my cat. He's 4 come this March. He threw a saddle thrombic clot to his back legs. He had a 25% chance of walking ever again. Good News: he's walking. Bad News: on three legs. He spent last weekend at the vet's office after a night at the kitty ER. Came home Monday and is doing ok since. His left leg doesn't work from the hock down, meaning he drags it around looking pitiful.

The good news is that a brace will probably help him and I've called one of the prosthetic places in town. I was looking for a moldable plastic material to make a brace. Two of them that I called couldn't help me and were mildly rude about it. The third though, said I should talk to the prosthetitist (or however you spell it). I left him a voicemail and he returned my call. Apparently the gentleman has two dogs and three cats. He told me about his little dog that had a spine problem. He made a little wheelchair for him and the dog got around just fine. He said he had a couple ideas on how to help. He'd order the material and give me a call. (Guy also mentioned a wife, for those who would make assumptions)

I have a friend give my number to a guy named Nick. She met him through a dating site and didn't connect with him. Though she said talking to him was like talking to me so we should talk. (Convoluted, I know). He called Tuesday. Seems nice, lives in the same town as Erwin. Has an older brother who sounds like a bit of a screw up. Not too kind in his description. He interrupted me a lot and talked over me. He reminds me of Wilbur. It sounded like we ended on the conversation on a good note, but I haven't heard from him since. Don't know how thats going to go. I'll keep you all posted.

My mom gave my number to a patient to give to a friend. Said friend is supposedly a lawyer maybe 45 minutes north. Haven't heard a word and don't really expect to. We'll see.

Derrek made my heart hurt today. He said 'I felt that we became close very fast'. Which is true. We do the not quite so innocent flirting and its somewhat serious. So we're in the wistful state. We would probably be dating if we didn't have 7 hours between us.

*sigh* please ignore me. I'm melancholy and its been grey and cloudy a lot lately.

Baby, its cold outside.

So its still January and we're actually experiencing a heatwave around here. I've determined this to be a very good thing, seeing as my car window decided to break at a most inopportune moment yesterday. I had planned on going through the car wash to remove some of the nasty salt from my lovely 11 year old psuedo-SUV. Since it was the aforementioned cold outside I decided to go through the automatic side. And its always entertaining to watch the dog have a fit at the little spinner things as they hit the window.

So, I pull up and hit the down button on the window. It goes down just like expected, but then the motor doesn't stop. I don't think anything of it and proceed to pay for the car wash. Time to move forward. Oh, damn. The window won't go up. Thankfully I hadn't moved my car towards the wash so I was able to turn around and head back to my folks house. This is the point where I thank God that I live in the same town as my Dad. He is the real version of McGuyver.

Unfortunately even McGuyver couldn't have made the motor on my window work again. We pulled the interior panel off of my door (after putting a chip in the top of the window trying to drag it upwards with plyers) and Dad shoved the window back into place. The upside of this mess is that we've (I say we like I had anything more to do with it all than holding the screws so they wouldn't get lost) replaced the window motor in my brother's car, which is the exact same year and model. Rather than taking it to the repair shop or ordering a part through the dealership Dad jumps on eBay and saves me approximately $400. While I'm waiting for the part to arrive I'm driving around sans interior panel on my driver's door. Meaning: no speaker, no door handle and no lock trigger thingy. Thank God I don't have passengers very often. I'm hopeful that the part will arrive tomorrow some time. I'm tired (already) of pulling on the little metal lever (that is normally) inside the door to get myself out of the car.

On the less than interesting side of my life the dating status quo hasn't changed. I spent Friday evening at a party at Erwin's house. I am apparently very punctual. I had the farthest to drive and I arrived first out of everyone invited. Which is normally the way I like to arrive. I can get settled and not be so nervous when meeting a boatload of new people. I brought monkey bread (not actually made of monkies) and fixings for rum and coke. I also met Erwin's new roommate Jacob (also not his real name). A very outgoing and personable man, especially for a physicist.

More people show up in the next half hour or so. I actually know two of them. I'd met both of them for the first time over Halloween, but didn't mention them in the post. I'd only seen the one that one time but the other guy, James*, I'd seen for the Santa pub crawl and again when we'd gone to see Avatar. By 8 there were about 9 of the eventual 14 people there. All men. Erwin assured me that there would eventaully be girls that showed up. And they eventually did.

I found the evening odd for several reasons. The first being that I was completely comfortable around the assortment of new people that I'd never met before. This is not a usual state for me, though I think we can blame that on the multiple rum and cokes I'd had. And secondly Erwin made it a habit of standing in front of me when talking in groups. He'd start to walk through and get caught in conversation and somehow manage to stand directly in front of me in the loose circle that people tend to create. We can't chalk that up to him trying to prevent me from making an ass out of myself because of the rum and coke. (Someone asked me to do something that involved coordination. I declined stating my decidedly uncoordinated state and they were surprised as I didn't appear to be that goofy).

We've already established that Erwin is an odd duck. He, quite obviously, wants no sort of romantically involved relationship with me, but he's making an effort to keep me in his life. If it were up to me I'd just let the contact fade away like I have with the multitudes of men that either I wasn't interested in or weren't interested in me. He seems to remember me on Tuesdays. He often sends a text just asking how I'm doing. I respond in like and thats mostly the extent of the conversation. He invites me to do things, in groups, that don't lead to any sort of gain for him. I am thoroughly confused by him. I've asked him what he wants and he's not sure. Though he does say I've impressed him for the little that is worth.

I think I'm going to continue my non-initiation of contact with Erwin and let him start everything. If it all falls away it does and if he continues to try the friend thing maybe I'll end up with a new friend.

I tried to reactivate the whole online dating thing again. But I just can't do it. I'm tired of emailing people and answering the same questions I've answered a million times before. I hate the whole institution right now. I'd like to meet someone the normal way. I'm having a hell of a time with that one too. I go out with a friend and no one talks to me but her. I go out by myself and no one talks to me at all. I go to the gym and the same thing. I wish I knew how to start a conversation with someone, but I think thats just too far outside my comfort range. If you all have any suggestions on how to meet people I'd love to hear them. I'm at the end of my idea list on how to meet new people.

New Year update

So there's really not much to update around here. Derrick was in town for the week of Christmas. He apparently has a jealous mother who doesn't like it when he doesn't spend every evening at home with the family. That is mildly concerning. Though I did get to see him, amongst other friends, when we held a dinner party (of sorts) on Tuesday. He got a little toasty and apparently smokes while drinking. He stuck around after everyone left and we chit chatted for a while.

The next night I ended up at another friend's house, Derrick didn't go. People asked what the nature of our relationship was during my first game of flip cup. The only way I could figure out to explain it was that his sister was a patient of my mother's and she wants him back in Ohio. I am, apparently, the carrot. Which, in retrospect, is very true. Through the course of the other two times I saw him we had a couple conversations on where everything was going to go. In a word, nowhere. He said we wouldn't even come close to being in the same place for at least two years and he doesn't do long distance relationships. So we agreed to keep up a friendship and that's it.

I actually heard from Erwin over the break. He's gone home to the western part of the US (where they have at least two great ski resorts at very close distance, I'm jealous) for Christmas and I hadn't expected to hear from him at all. I got a Merry Christmas text on Christmas Eve. Apparently his mother is driving him nuts. She was 'worrying about everything, being incredibly stubborn, always right and always telling him what to do'. I told him that it sounds like she's a mother. Other than a short discussion about him coming to see the horses the conversation pretty much ended there.

It snowed Sunday, around two inches worth. Since Erwin had rubbed in the fact that he got to ski a lot I had to send him a message telling him that he was missing the first good sledding evening we'd had so far this season. I actually went sledding with Derrick that evening. On the way home, with Derrick in the car, Erwin called. Didn't expect that one. Thankfully I was driving so I could beg off the conversation so I could drive in the snow. I told him I'd call him later.

I called him back the next night, as Derrick stayed late after sledding. We chit chatted for about fifteen minutes. Though its was mostly frivolous stuff, the most memorable part of the conversation was about this massive softball sized firework.

I even heard from him on New Years! We were kidding about my town being horrible for New Years parties. He suggested that I make a run for it to one of the bigger cities near by. Since I was out with my brother I just said that since the company was decent I'd stay put. I think he took that to mean that I'd met someone at the bar as he said 'Ah. Gotcha. Have fun, be safe'. I clarified with a 'Close enough to walk home and my brother keeps the creeps away so safety isn't an issue' He told me that one of those creeps might be a prince in disguise and when I laughed at him he told me that I was going to die alone if I didn't try. Other than me sarcastically calling him an eternal optimist that was essentially the end of the conversation. I assume that because I was out with my brother and his friend (my almost brother) they pretty much scared off anyone who might have talked to me. Save, of course, for the two exceedingly drunk and creepy guys who said something.

So that's my update in around 600 words or less. Nothing really has changed.

Confusion

Alright. I'm ready for my dating life to be uncluttered and sane. I'm tired of not knowing what people are thinking and what their motivations are. First up on the list of confusing individuals we'll go with Erwin.

Now I know I was very clear on only being friends with Erwin. And he seems to have gotten the point. You all know that he didn't exactly ring my phone off the hook trying to see me when there was the possibility of romantic entanglement. Which is what makes him contacting me twice in four days highly unusual. He texted (I really despise texting, but it is unfortunately an efficient way to communicate even if it is highly impersonal) me an invite to dinner and a movie with a group. At first I was confused as to whether or not it was a mass text. See for yourself:

Dinner, the Avatar movie, and anytihng else that comes our way friday night. Bring your friends! Let me know if you're interested -Erwin

It took me an hour to respond by saying that I was possibly interested and asking for details such as time. I thought I had to work a half hour past when they were meeting and since I live an hour away I relayed this news. Now I expected no response indicating silent acceptance of the situation. Nope, got another text from him.

Or later. No worries. You can join us later. We'll be at dinner till 8 probably

Now, I could just pharaphrase the rest of the conversation, but that would probably take longer than just posting the messages themself, so here goes:

I'll see what I can do. Though I don't think I'm familar enough with [town he lives in] to be able to meet you all anywhere without getting horribly lost.

Ok. You found us the other night. This will be just as easy.

I'll take your word for it. For the record, you are confusing.

Duly noted. Just inviting you out with a bunch of people.

I caught that fact, actually.

I know.

To finish this story, it turns out that I have to work until 8:15 rather than 6 and I won't be able to make it. I let Erwin know that fact this morning and haven't heard back. I wonder if I will. And now on to the confusing part.

I realize that I don't know this man very well. I've known of his existance for about a month and a half and most of that time we weren't communicating. Through the course of conversation Saturday he said that he regretted purposely torpedoing a chance at a relationship with me and he was also very attracted to me. So, my rational mind says that if you want one senario with someone and it isn't possible you're just a glutton for punishment if you try and continue contact with them.

Either that or he actually is taking the whole 'be friends' thing to heart. But that doesn't explain to me why he contacted me this soon after the last time he saw me. I don't know how other people operate, but my group of friends is very last minute. Unless its holiday plans we don't make anything in advance more than a day or two. And certainly not almost a week ahead of time. So in otherwords, I don't understand his motivations. I don't know what he wants and I don't like not knowing.

Now on to our next confusing contestant. Lovely Derrek. Now, this man is very clear on the fact he likes me. I know exactly what he thinks of me. You'd think this would be a good thing and not at all confusing. Except I also have no idea what he wants. He lives 6.5 hours away and this week he was telling me about a fellowship he was applying for that would garner him money for his research. The trade off for the money would be working for the Military for a couple years. He asked my help in choosing the preferred locations for what base he wanted to be sent to. He said the last time he applied for this fellowship he picked the base that is about an hour away, but he didn't think it was going to make the list this year. And it didn't. He picked bases 2,000 miles away out west.

This is the man who said that the only thing he really wanted to do while he was home over Christmas was see me. I don't entirely believe that statement, but its a pretty bold one to make. And why bother starting any sort of relationship with someone who you don't seem to ever plan on being in the same state with for more than a week? Why put yourself through the wringer and drag someone else with you?

I very much would like to be done with this whole dating game thing. I'm tired of trying to divine what other people are thinking and what motivates them. I want to be settled into a stable relationship with someone who isn't afraid to tell me what he thinks and dislikes ambiguity as much as I do. So, if anyone has a magic wand I could borrow, I'd appreciate it.